Sometimes I think about where I'd be without her. I know we've given and taken from one another, but it can be argued it's a bit more one-sided than that.


Usually, this internal debate is about a rather dramatic 'would I be alive?' hypothetical. I like to think I would, I've lived my fair share of raggedy penniless days, but that isn't important. That's not what matters. This debate arises from a defensiveness in me that doesn't want to admit or accept help. It comes from the pain of leaving home at a young age and rejecting the authority that was supposed to look out for me, because it didn't. It's not important, and it's now why I'm here right now.

What is important right now, is acknowledging where I am, and why I'm here.

When I meet people, I talk to them about my life, and often I'll somehow bring up travelling, my favourite cities, the friends I have there, those experiences. I've been blessed to live a beautiful life, running around whatever major North American city, drunk as I've ever been, surrounded by friends new and old, laughing louder than your 7AM alarm at 2AM in the middle of a dead-empty street. Those memories are very dear to me, and I wouldn't be the person I am today if not given the freedom to explore, to fuck up, to love, to hurt, to laugh.

But maybe what, or who I should tell more people about is Heather. It's not that I ignore or don't bring up my family, I gush about them loads, but I could pay a little more respect.

Heather has given me more than I can calculate. Things haven't always been perfect, but she has been a loyal friend to me, busting her ass to cover mine, for years now, and even if it's corny, or annoying, or indulgent, I owe her this piece at least. I think about her whenever I see things she loves, like sour cream and onion chips, or sleek office-lady dresses. Even in the things I'm not a part of, I see her in and appreciate. I think it's so beautiful that she's been on the same Dark Souls run with RATS for what, over five years now? I love that we drove into a stop sign together and she did her best to prop it up and make its damage properly known. I love that we're such a big proponent of the library, I love that she's been slowly improving at Melee for so long and is still in love with it. I love that she'll feel sad about missing the "true experience" of a piece of art I shared because she was high during it. I love that she calls edibles Edwards. I love the amount of care and work she puts into everything that is important to her, even if it would be easier or less stressful not to. I love her.

At the end of the day, no matter what happens, I will always have a deep appreciation and love for her. My family has grown tremendously during the latter chunk of my continuing life, and one of the biggest highlights was learning I have a sister named Heather.


It's not important if "I'd be dead" without her. It's important that I got to live because of her.

<3